Monday, July 18, 2011

As Seen On TV

Did you ever have a moment of your life play out like something that would happen on a TV sitcom??

I did. And while I can look back and laugh now, I was mortified at the time.

Let me set the scene...

My husband & I were trying for baby 2 for a few months. I was one of those neurotic people that peed on a stick, before I was even late, in hopes that a positive test would appear. And every month it didn't I felt disappointed.

This past March, after 2 months of negative tests, I gave up. I threw in the towel on premature peeing. I decided to wait until I was late.

The only problem was I somehow lost track of dates/times/and all that other stuff women do to track their cycle.

Then one day my best friend came over and we planned on grabbing some sushi and a few bottles of wine.
Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head.
I began using my fingers to count days.
And I realized I was late.
Like 2 weeks late.
So we headed to the store to pick up a test.

We were running errands and decided to stop at a grocery store nearby.

At this moment I should pause and mention I hate shopping at new grocery stores. More so, I should mention I am kind of a grocery store snob. I grew up shopping at Jewel with my mom so it just seemed natural that I would keep shopping there as an adult. I am comfortable shopping there. I am familiar with my local store's layout, they carry all my favorite brands, and the likely hood of running into complete lunatics is low, unlike other stores I've tried to shop at. (Ahem, Walmart) The problem is they are not the cheapest chain in town, and so in the interest of saving money, I've tried turning to the cheaper alternatives. You know the stores. The ones where scooters run wild and people stare at you if you are wearing clothes that freshly laundered and free of holes. Like you are some sort of freak. Because you were the one that chose to get dressed for the day.

This was that kind of store.

So I was displeased from the moment I waked through the door.

After a few minutes of walking around confused-because I am unfamiliar to this particular layout- I walk down the "Hygiene" aisle. I scour the shelves for at home pregnancy tests. Nothing.

I search for someone to ask.

Nothing. I am annoyed.

By the time I find someone to ask I am practically out of the store. I ask her if the store sells pregnancy tests. She doesn't know. So I am prepared to leave.

I am not prepared for her to yell halfway across the store to another associate.
An associate that is standing with a troop of GIRL SCOUTS.

"Lakisha, DO YOU KNOW IF WE SELL PREGNANCY TESTS??"

I wanted to run. But I had already come this far...I might as well not leave empty handed.
So I followed her to the front of the store where the pregnancy tests were. In a little display that housed condoms, lighters, batteries, KY jelly, and Monistat. Not sure why all these things were segregated in a top secret location, or why I practically needed a background check to buy it, but I didn't have time to ponder such intricacies.
I needed to get out before the girl scouts started asking questions.

Luckily the day ended on a high note and I finally got a positive test.

The only downside??
I could have really used a glass a wine after that trip to the store.