Wednesday, May 18, 2011

What I did on my bloggy vacation

Maybe vacation isn't the appropriate word to use since that implies that something may have actually occurred.
Sadly nothing did.
As a matter of fact I am pretty sure I am the sole inspiration behind Bruno Mars "Lazy Song".
This past month I've spent all of my time sleeping and/or laying around watching TV. So if there is anything to write about these days it's TV. And namely a little show that has been making my blood boil lately.
The Real Housewives.
I've been a fan since day one when only the OC housewives existed and with the exception of Miami and Atlanta I've watched every season religiously.
But as of late I'm starting to take issue with the Real Housewives, namely the OC and NY gals.

Lets start with the OC...

Housewives seems to be quite a stretch for any of these women. When I think "housewife" I think of things like cooking, cleaning and actually caring for your children. In all the seasons of this show I'm not sure I have spotted any of these behaviors let alone the fact that some of these women don't even have a husband/children. So before we discuss anything lets all collectively agree to come up with a better name for these women. Because "Real" and "Housewives" are kind of misleading.

Now that we are past the formalities lets get into the plot/semi-scripted story lines...

This  past week's episode primarily focused on Tamera's continuing divorce drama. Tamera is not a favorite of mine and though I don't necessarily agree with Jenna's meddling, I do agree with her that Tamera is drama queen and is doing a lot of this for attention. Her ability to cry on cue is becoming quite good.
Tamera has been bothering me all season. From the get go, I think it is pathetic the way she is whoring herself out for the camera. At the end of the day I have to wonder about what kind of mother would let herself be exposed like that on National TV. I'm sure somewhere in that over bleached brain of hers, she thinks that this is the best way to show us all she's moved on, but in reality it only makes her seem more pathetic. And the worst part is, I'm not sure who she is trying to show off more to, her ex or Gretchen.  Or maybe her lesbian lover...Eddie. Err, I mean Fernanda.

On the semi-other side of the country we have Gretchen, Peggy, Alexis, and Fernanda's girl weekend in San Antonio. I like Gretchen. I do think that she can be a pot stirrer sometimes, but for the most part she seems to be the most normal of all the ladies. Plus, some of her one liners really crack me up. The other 2 are a different story. Peggy is new, so I am still piecing together my opinion of her.
But Alexis, sweet god fearing, Alexis. Where do I begin??

First of all, being on a reality show does not qualify you to make a record/start a wine business/create a clothing line. These housewives are driving me nuts the way they are trying to cash in on their so called celebrity. And also Alexis...please do not call your line Alexis Couture when you a.) haven't even designed it yourself and b.) do not know what couture is.

***I searched high and low for the clip of her trying to describe what 'couture" is but came up empty handed. :-( I can tell you though...it went a little something like this: "Couture is a term put on a design of a dress if it’s ummm I guess… super…rich.” – Alexis Bellino***


Alexis is also as clearly educated about her faith as she is about couture because she randomly spouts off lines about the bible that makes me wonder what Jim is giving her to read.

And then of course there is Vicky.

I hope Vicky realizes that her insurance company is not going to keep her warm at night. I think that is is admirable to work hard and make your own money, but to me what is the use of having all that money if you don't have the time or people to share it with. I feel for Don who seems like a real hoot to me, but at this point I think he is better off without Vicky and her empty gas tank and 4 deflated tires.
And BTW Vicky...You live in the OC. I'm sure there is a doctor somewhere that can perk those tires right up for you.

What do you think of the OC housewives??
And stay tuned for NYC and NJ housewife recaps...