Because we are preparing for our Mexico trip-one month baby!- I decided to start tanning to get a good base tan going. Before you all jump on me and warn me of the dangers of tanning, take a look at this:
looks painful huh?
Don't adjust your computer monitors...that tomato is me. And yes, it was as painful as it looks. By the end of our trip I had left most of my skin behind in Mexico. Un-bronzed I am a pretty white gal, and I'm ok with that. In high school I'll admit that I succumbed to the tanning beds to get ready for Homecoming or Prom, but mostly I am happy to let myself tan the natural way, by being outside. But it's spring here in the Midwest, so there isn't really a lot of opportunities to "lay out". So this year I decided to go a few times a week before our trip so I wouldn't burn to a crisp when I got under the hot tropic sun.
I work right next to a pretty nice tanning salon, so last week I ventured over. And then I remembered why-besides it being bad for you and all- I hate tanning.
Tanning salespeople are as annoying as used car salesmen.
When I walked in, I explained my situation. I only wanted to tan a few times a week for the next month. I wanted a stand up bed-because laying in those beds gives me the willies- and I wanted to do all of this without having to take out a second mortgage on my house. Not too much to ask right? WRONG??
I sat thru spiel after spiel, holding my ground. No, I did not want to add on a year of free tanning? No, I didn't want the expensive lotion that is made from fairy dust particles and ground diamonds and will make my color really deep? No, I don't want to whiten my teeth while I tan. And NO, I do NOT want a tanning cocktail for an extra $59.99 a month? (This is tanning in a bed and then getting spray tanned- I like to call it the Snookie)
After all was said and done I was locked into a month long contract. I went in with every intention of not locking myself into a contract but the sales guy convinced me it was the best deal. He also conned me into a bottle of lotion. And I tanned for less time than I spent listening to all the propaganda.
And it NEVER stops. Today I went in for a quick 10 minutes while Kevin and Jack picked up something for dinner at the Jewel next door. The bed I wanted wasn't available right away so I told the girl I was in a hurry and would go in whatever bed was available. She proceeded to tell me that if I just paid another $59 I could upgrade to a higher bed and dance with unicorns in it. Ok the unicorns part I made up, but for all this upgrading I think this should be an offer. I politely declined. She blabbered on about some other junk, when I finally decided I had had enough. I put my hand on the desk, looked her square in the eye and said, " I appreciate the information, but I am happy with the package I have. I'm in a bit of a hurry so if you don't mind,
UM, CAN I JUST TAN??"
Problem solved. At least until next time....