It's been a long time coming, but I have wanted to write a post touching on the whole Stay at Home vs Working Mom debate. I've sat down to write this post a million times. I've written and erased it and written it again. I could never quite articulate exactly how I felt. I'm still not quite sure how how I feel but I'll try my best to explain it because I wonder if there are other mothers out there grappling with this issue too. At least on some level.
I find myself in the middle of the road on this topic. I resigned from my full time job near the end of my maternity leave and now find myself working part time. Some days I'm very conflicted. I wonder if I made the right decision to give up my full time job. Not because I don't want to stay at home with my beautiful baby boy, but because I miss things like paid time off, a consistent paycheck, and the sense of accomplishment that comes with a full time job. I've always been a worker. Even as a child I worked as a babysitter or camp counselor. So when I left the full time workforce I didn't expect it to throw me for such a loop.
But today I had an epiphany of sorts.
I'm not conflicted on working/staying at home. I'm conflicted because I now have no idea what my next step will be. That is because when I quit my full time job I vowed to never go back to retail again. I've worked it my whole life and I have a slew of great experience to show from it, but I'm done. Retail isn't a field conducive to family life and I am done with the crazy hours and schedules.
But now what? Being a new mother and charting a new life course isn't exactly easy. Especially trying to find a new career path with no experience in a bad economy. My timing sucks. But I try to live my life with no regrets. I'd like to believe that everything reveals itself in time, and that eventually things will work out the way they were meant to.
In my experience the best things happen when you aren't looking for them. I fell in love with my husband when I wasn't looking for love and I got pregnant during the only time we weren't trying. So maybe I'll get lucky and the same will happen with my future job.
Any new moms out there feeling equally conflicted? It seems to me that the grass always seems greener on the other side, but working or staying at home equally have their pros and cons. Are you happy with your decision? Would you do things different if you could?